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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

#people #music #cultures #ages #option
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Some folks said that
music
 can
bringing
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 them to different cultures and ages background at the same time. The author slightly
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
 with
this
 statement. So,
this
 writing will be given the opinion about it. To start with, there are many types of
music
such
 as pop, rock, and
classic
Replace the word
classical
show examples
.
People
 start to listen
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 genre of
music
 that they like.
Furthermore
, they will
looking
Change the verb form
look
be looking
show examples
 for another listener with the same taste
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
 them.
For example
, if someone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to watch a concert, they will bring a friend with her or him. Because it will be more fun to share
this
 experience with
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
.
Thus
, they meet a lot of
people
 with different cultures and ages background
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same place.
On the other hand
, it depends
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the person itself. Despite having a similar taste of
music
, does not mean the community can get along easier.
However
, it
also
 depends
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 the
music's
Change noun form
music
show examples
 community
themself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For instance
,
korean
Change the capitalization
Korean
show examples
 pop is very popular in Indonesia, those fans start to make a group to support
Correct article usage
the korean
show examples
korean
Change the capitalization
Korean
show examples
music
 industry, it is good because they can share the same interest and talk about
korean's
Change the capitalization
Korean's
show examples
 culture. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are many fan groups in Indonesia and it is possible to fight with another group. In conclusion,
music
 can be a
media
Replace the word
medium
show examples
 to learn new
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and meet new
people
, but it depends
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 a listener
reacting
Wrong verb form
reacts
show examples
 to it. The reason why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree with
this
 statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
music
 is easy to access and some
music
 contains a message on it, which can bring us to new
people
.
Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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