Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

#people #music #cultures #ages #option

Some folks said that

music

can

bringing

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

them to different cultures and ages background at the same time. The author slightly

agree

Change the verb form

agrees

show examples

with

this

statement. So,

this

writing will be given the opinion about it. To start with, there are many types of

music

such

as pop, rock, and

classic

Replace the word

classical

show examples

People

start to listen

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

genre of

music

that they like.

Furthermore

, they will

looking

Change the verb form

look

be looking

show examples

for another listener with the same taste

Change preposition

show examples

them.

For example

, if someone

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to watch a concert, they will bring a friend with her or him. Because it will be more fun to share

this

experience with

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

people

Thus

, they meet a lot of

people

with different cultures and ages background

Change preposition

show examples

the same place.

On the other hand

, it depends

Change preposition

show examples

the person itself. Despite having a similar taste of

music

, does not mean the community can get along easier.

However

, it

also

depends

how

Change preposition

on how

show examples

the

music's

Change noun form

music

show examples

community

themself

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

For instance

korean

Change the capitalization

Korean

show examples

pop is very popular in Indonesia, those fans start to make a group to support

Correct article usage

the korean

show examples

korean

Change the capitalization

Korean

show examples

music

industry, it is good because they can share the same interest and talk about

korean's

Change the capitalization

Korean's

show examples

culture. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

there are many fan groups in Indonesia and it is possible to fight with another group. In conclusion,

music

can be a

media

Replace the word

medium

show examples

to learn new

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

and meet new

people

, but it depends

how

Change preposition

on how

show examples

a listener

reacting

Wrong verb form

reacts

show examples

to it. The reason why

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with

this

statement

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

music

is easy to access and some

music

contains a message on it, which can bring us to new

people

Submitted by twiggseducationbdg on Wed May 31 2023

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Your opinion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

Your opinion

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Some businesses observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack the interpersonal skills needed for communication with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solutions can help address this problem?

In some countries it is traditional for men to work and for women to stay at home to look after the family. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think young people are suitable for learning foreign languages.Some think adults are more suitable.Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many university graduates connot find a job in their chosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it?