Some children spend hours every day on thier smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #thier #smartphones #case #development

These days, smart devices have occupied people's everyday lives which include children on the top rank.

This

can be

due to

some significant reasons, and in

this

essay, I will discuss some of them and state the negative aspects. The first reason to take into account is the modern lifestyle which is the result of the recent century's achievements.

Due to

the cutting-edge technology and industrial way of life, conducting many work has changed

such

as studying, gaming, and making friends which have become online.

Moreover

, the other under laying reason can be that families do not spend adequate

time

with their children.

For example

, they are on business trips or have night shifts.

As a result

, youngsters tend to fill their spare

time

with

mobilephones

Correct your spelling

mobile phones

. Using an abundant amount of

time

on advanced gadgets can have detrimental impacts on the young generation. Physical effects,

for instance

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

constitute brain retardation, eye sore and obesity

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early age.

Furthermore

, emotional damage can be considered the most deleterious consequence of the advanced world.

In other words

, youngsters may experience loneliness, their social skills might be affected, and

also

they might encounter some issues of self-identity as they spend most of the day behind their smartphones. In conclusion,

this

issue has become one of the concerns in today's world, and children should not be permitted to use their phones for more than a specific

time

because of the impression that it can have on them.

Submitted by omidateur on Thu Jun 01 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

243 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some children spend hours every day on thier smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Word Count

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?