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Writing Samples
Band 7

the table below gives information about the three countries with the highest population.

the table below gives information about the three countries with the highest population.
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The given table charts compare
populations
Correct article usage
the populations
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 of three different countries namely China,
India
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,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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USA
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there are no direct correlations between the size of the
population
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,
population
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 densities, size of land areas and urban
population
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. In the case of
India
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, there is a
population
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 of 1.354 billion
people
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, living in just under 3 million square kilometres of land area,
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
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 of
people
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 live in urban areas.
In addition
Linking Words
, the density of
India
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 stands at the highest number among
this
Linking Words
 figure with 455
people
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 per square kilometre. Accounting for density by China and the
USA
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 reaches
at
Change preposition
apply
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151,
36
Correct word choice
and 36
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 respectively. The size of each two countries’ land area is approximately three times larger than
India
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.
However
Linking Words
, the density of the
USA
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 is significantly the smallest, it reaches 36
people
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 per square kilometre.
Also
Linking Words
, more than 80% of
people
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 live in the city in the
USA
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while
Linking Words
 58% of
people
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 live in urban areas in China.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words india, usa, population, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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