IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

A poor infrastructure hinders under developed countries from progressing and modernizing. Some people think this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree?

#infrastructure #countries #people #first #aid
In today's world, a number of countries are developing in many fields,
while
 there are some nations which are struggling with weak fundamental structures basis
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the process of becoming modernized and advanced.
Furthermore
,
this
 can be considered the most significant issue to be dealt with by the contribution of other countries. I totally agree with
this
 statement, and in
this
 essay, I will discuss some of the reasons. The first point to take into account is that a nation stands on its economic and industrial infrastructures which forms the power and the position of that country in the world. To illustrate, when a society is enriched with natural sources and sophisticated human resources, technical and knowledge deficiency will impede the pace of progress and waste
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
resources. Another reason is that
this
 issue is the central nucleus of other problems, and there is a strong correlation between them.
In other words
, if we are determined to eradicate the sources of crucial obstacles in our developmental plan, we should tackle them by cooperating with advanced countries.
For instance
, coming to agreements which have the most benefits and merits for our society, and
also
 planning long-term schemes by applying new methods and cutting-edge technology to reach a remedy.
To sum up
,
although
Correct article usage
an inadvanced
show examples
inadvanced
Correct your spelling
in advanced
advanced
 basis in the modern world is an obstacle which blocks the path of development, I believe by taking advantage of the assets of a nation and foreign associations, we can take the steps to
advancement
Add an article
the advancement
show examples
 and achieve our goal.
Submitted by omidateur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: