In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

It is permitted in some cultures that
children
are often advised about how they can reach their aims if they are totally in their effort.
This
essay will demonstrate how the advice can be beneficial to motivate them to reach their achievements,
although
it may make them too ambitious and often
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
stages which are bad for their life. One of the advantages of giving positive quotes to
children
is that they will be motivated with their goals. In fact, receiving inspiring words for
children
is
such
magic words that can make them full of spirits to run their lives.
For example
, when I was a child, my father used to tell me that I would be a successful person to reach my dreams as a researcher if I studied hard from
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
stages of education.
Consequently
, it motivated me more and more and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
I have loved studying until now.
On the other hand
, one of the drawbacks is
children
often becoming too ambitious with their aims and it is difficult to receive the results when they are facing failures. To illustrate, so many
children
nowadays are stressed and frustrated when they do not get what they want.
This
leads to serious problems like mental illness which can make their life worse.
For example
, recently, I read a news that a student did
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suicide because of failed to enter
faculty
Correct article usage
the faculty
show examples
of medicine which was her dream since he was a child. In conclusion,
although
advising
children
with positive suggestions has cons, I believe it is far more of prons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them. It is like amazing words that give them
spirit
Add an article
the spirit
a spirit
show examples
to achieve their goals.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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