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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Governments should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #research #environment
Recently, some maintain that
governments
 should spend more
money
 on researching the environment,
while
 others think that
governments
 should spend
money
 on medical
research
. I, personally, do see the merits of more
money
 on researching the environment which supports will be clearly illustrated in the following paragraphs: Starting with the first advantage, the government should investigate environmental
research
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that studying improves
treatment
efficiency
.
For example
,
according to
 the latest
research
 conducted by Bangkok University,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was revealed that improving the
treatment
efficiency
 of cancer diseases, there is a possibility that can enhance their quality of life because patients can receive
treatment
 faster from government-supported devices
such
 as a CT scan or an MRI scan.
This
 example shows that improving
treatment
efficiency
 plays a major role in enhancing the quality of patients Another point to support
this
 is the fact that if
money
 is spent on
research
 that promotes good
health
, it can reduce employees who have a problem with
health
. To illustrate
this
, in recent news, it has been reported that the development of curcumin products can treat and prevent gastric disease by taking 2-4 capsules per each, 3 times before having meals.
Moreover
, it can be nutritious for people by having 1 capsule per day. When people have good
health
, they can work every day.
This
 case makes reduces the illness of the employees and enhances healthy well. As mentioned above, it is no exaggeration to say that
governments
 should spend more
money
 on medical
research
 because studying improves
treatment
efficiency
 and
research
 promotes good
health
. It is highly likely that
research
 brings beneficial consequences to people.
Therefore
, absolutely,
governments
 should encourage and promote citizens to do medical
research
 as much as possible.
Submitted by ssirirat on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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