Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some individuals believe that hazardous

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

should

prohibited

Change the verb form

be prohibited

show examples

, and others believe

otherwise

Linking Words

.In my opinion,

people

Use synonyms

should have

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to play any

sport

Use synonyms

they want regardless of possible risk. On the one hand, some members of society hold

idea

Add an article

the idea

show examples

that the uncertain

sport

Use synonyms

should

banned

Change the verb form

be banned

show examples

. they think

people

Use synonyms

who engage in risky

Use synonyms

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

are more likely to get serious injuries and even death.

For example

Linking Words

, every single day many

people

Use synonyms

pass away or get horrible injuries result of

fall

Wrong verb form

falling

show examples

from

Everest

Correct article usage

the Everest

show examples

mountains.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

can have negative impacts

Change preposition

show examples

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

life and reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life expectancy.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I agree with

thoses

Correct your spelling

those

who think

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

should have

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to do any form of

sport

Use synonyms

for many reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, there is no doubt

thanks

Correct word choice

that thanks

show examples

to advancements in technology.

This

Linking Words

is because there are many safety

equipment

Change to a plural noun

equipments

show examples

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

helmets, face protection,

life

Correct word choice

and life

show examples

jacket, which

this

Linking Words

tools can provide

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

level of protection and minimize the risk of injuries.

Secondly

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extreme

sports

Use synonyms

can contribute improve the economy of

host

Add an article

the host

show examples

country

Use synonyms

. To illustrate,

this

Linking Words

risky

sport

Use synonyms

can bring fame and attract many tourists to the

country

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, numerous tourists visit New Zealand in order to watch competitions in skydiving

as well as

Linking Words

climbing

mountians

Correct your spelling

mountains

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can contribute to

boost

Change the verb form

boosting

show examples

the economy of

Use synonyms

country

Add an article

the country

a country

show examples

this

Linking Words

is because the tourists will spend a considerable amount of money

Change preposition

show examples

hotels, flights,

public

Correct word choice

and public

show examples

transport. In conclusion, I totally agree that risky

sports

Use synonyms

should not be prohibited, because there are many

Change preposition

of protection

show examples

protection

Replace the word

protective

show examples

equipment , and

also

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

can enhance the economy of

Use synonyms

country

Add an article

the country

a country

show examples

faiz3177

Jun 9, 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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