IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
Due to
 the eating of junk foods in some regions, the number of individuals who bother from some health issues has soared. It is essential for the administration to force higher taxes on
this
 type of feed. I personally agree with that solution because the merits of that are noticeable. In
this
 essay, I intend to discuss that.
Firstly
, If the amount of
tax
 on junk
food
 products increase, the number of mankind who tend to use that type of
food
 decline. There are those who subscribe to the view that the chief reason for the popularity of fast
food
 is the low price of that so if people compel to pay a significant expenditure for fast snacks, they are unwilling to buy them. for
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, the
last
 research about the effects of
tax
 rise in North America illustrated that the amount of usage of junk
food
 went down remarkably when the price of fast
food
 was doubled.
Secondly
,
this
 decision has highly beneficial to the budget of governments because the amount of
tax
 is a decisive factor for the source of the budget. Based on upward
tax
, many commentators justifiably agree that the administration is able to increase qualities of health infrastructure and amenities of the country.
For example
, the government can establish new hospitals or new fitness facilities in the country. In conclusion, it seems to me the
tax
 rise is a logical way to decline the consumption of
this
 type of meal and growth the number of amenities.
Submitted by amirhsina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: