IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You have borrowed something from your friend and it has got damaged. Write a letter to your friend. -apologize for damaging the product / stuff -explain what happened -say how are you going to fix the issue

#friend #-apologize #product #stuff #-explain #-say
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Dear Henry, I hope you are in good condition. I am writing to apologize for the damaged device. It was kind of you not to mind borrowing your
laptop
Use synonyms
 for my dissertation a couple of days ago. I appreciate your generosity. Unfortunately, I accidentally damaged your gadget. I deeply regret the situation and humbly ask your forgiveness. It was snowing yesterday and roads were slippery.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, it was night and almost impossible to see roads. When I was coming back from my university carrying your
laptop
Use synonyms
 at that time, I fell down the road and damaged your
laptop
Use synonyms
' screen by accident. I, immediately, went to the service near my flat. Having checked it, the servicer said that it would take over a week to repair the screen of your
laptop
Use synonyms
. I can not describe how sorry I am and how guilty I feel. I am ready to take responsibility and refund the damaged stuff. I promise I will be more careful next time. I hope you will accept my apology and understand my state. I look forward to hearing a prompt reply from you soon. Warm wishes, Bobby
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly sets the context for the letter. In your case, it was done neatly, presenting the issue at hand efficiently.
Main body
In the main body, provide clear explanations and details. You have effectively described the situation, showing a coherent narrative that is easy to follow.
Conclusion
For the highest scores, consider adding a brief conclusion to reflect on the situation or reiterate your apology, enhancing the overall structure.
Language
Use a variety of sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to showcase your language skills. While your letter is well-written, further diversity in language use could enhance its impact.
Task Achievement
You've successfully apologized and explained the situation, meeting the task's requirements effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter is well-structured, with a clear introduction, detailed explanation, and proposed solution, showcasing excellent coherence and cohesion.
Suitable Writing Tone
The tone is suitably formal and apologetic, appropriate for the context of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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