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Band 7

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #scale
Many environmental
issues
 have emerged and spread globally. Some people believe that addressing these
issues
 should be a global responsibility,
while
 others argue that each nation should manage its own problems.
This
 essay will discuss both viewpoints before reaching a conclusion.
To begin
 with, it is undeniable that the matters of the environment need to be solved on a global scale, and one of the most effective methods is international collaboration. To elaborate
further
, every country has faced similar challenges in the past and
thus
 understands how to address these problems.
Moreover
, many countries have created new technologies to tackle
such
issues
.
For instance
, after Thailand experienced a year-long drought. They could collaborate with China, which faced a similar issue in recent years, to use a newly invented water storage system.
Additionally
, there are a number of reasons why each nation needs to take care of its own issue and one of the most crucial reasons is it is their responsibility. To explain in greater detail, they need to use their power to protect their natural surroundings.
Furthermore
, the environment is a vital legacy for future generations and it is their duty to safeguard it. An apt illustration of
this
 was a beach in the southern of Thailand that faced erosion from waves, reducing its width.
Therefore
, authorities ordered to
built
Replace the word
building
show examples
barriers
Change preposition
of barriers
show examples
 along the shoreline to reduce the wave impact and preserve the beach for future generations.
Overall
, there are a lot of environmental problems that have arisen in recent years. From my perspective, it is more effective to collaborate with other countries to address and alleviate these
issues
due to
 their extensive experience.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay maintains a logical structure, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, enhancing the overall cohesion.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples and elaborations for each point to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be slightly more detailed, reiterating the key points discussed in the body to leave a lasting impression.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, which helps frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your response comprehensively covers both viewpoints and effectively presents your opinion.
task achievement
The use of specific examples enhances the relevance and clarity of your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • sovereign rights
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • ocean pollution
  • collective measures
  • economic interests
  • political will
  • enforcement issues
  • free-riders
  • tailor-made solutions
  • transboundary pollution
  • resource constraints
  • global frameworks
  • national efforts
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