IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Waking is known to be healthy for human health, and yet fewer people walk these days. What are the reasons and solutions?

Generally, walking has many many advantages for health, but these
days
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 do not walk as they used to be in the past.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because everyone can drive these
days
Use synonyms
 and
work
Use synonyms
 from house. There are a number of solutions which should be implemented to deal with
people
Use synonyms
 who walk less.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the reason why most
people
Use synonyms
 do not walk a lot is that they use cars every single
time
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they use cars to
move
Use synonyms
 everywhere they want,
as a result
Linking Words
, they do not need to walk anymore.
For example
Linking Words
, if they want to go to the beach, they go by car, and when they arrive, they lay under the sunshine, so they do not
move
Use synonyms
 a lot.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
people
Add the comma(s)
,people
show examples
 these
days
Use synonyms
 prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 online. They do not
move
Use synonyms
 to their companies, shops, or anywhere they
work
Use synonyms
 because they are able to do their
work
Use synonyms
 from their houses.
Also
Linking Words
, they do not need to
move
Use synonyms
 with their customers to show them their products.
As a result
Linking Words
, when individuals do not walk they will be lazy already. There are two solutions to the problem of less walking. One way to tackle
this
Linking Words
 is to ensure that pushing
people
Use synonyms
 to walk will help them without any negative reactions. To put it in another way, the government can ban cars to
move
Use synonyms
 in the cities, and
people
Use synonyms
 should walk in cities, and they can make new streets for walking, they should make special streets clean and long with flowers and rare plants. By doing
this
Linking Words
 it will help
people
Use synonyms
 to walk with a good feeling. Another method of dealing with
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 from their homes. They can
work
Use synonyms
 in their companies about three
days
Use synonyms
 a week. They are able to organize their
time
Use synonyms
 and spend some
time
Use synonyms
 with their friends and family in the parks.
This
Linking Words
 solution would hopefully to walk with full desire. In conclusion, pushing
people
Use synonyms
 to walk and organize their
time
Use synonyms
 are effective in dealing with
this
Linking Words
 issue. If the government and individuals implemented these solutions.
People
Use synonyms
 would walk more.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • health
  • busy
  • lifestyle
  • schedules
  • commitments
  • convenience
  • transport
  • indoor
  • activities
  • outdoor
  • planning
  • cities
  • safe
  • appealing
  • reduce
  • walking paths
  • short distances
  • technology
  • games
  • parks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: