In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It is said that having
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
instead
of renting once
extreme
Change the word
extremely
show examples
necessary for
inidividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
. In my opinion, owning
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
security and privacy, and I believe
this
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
negative trend.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why some members of society
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
considered buying accommodation
is
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
very crucial.
Firstly
, having homes provide security for
people
in financial and
emtions
Correct your spelling
emotional
emotions
aspects.
For example
,
people
who have their own
home
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not
to
Add a missing verb
have to
show examples
pay rent at
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
of every month, which means
people
can live without
worry
Wrong verb form
worrying
show examples
about increase
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
prices
Fix the agreement mistake
price
show examples
of rent .
Secondly
, having private accommodation provide
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
level of privacy.
In other words
, there are no conditions
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
no noise after midnight,
no
Correct word choice
and no
show examples
pets.
Furthermore
, having shelter gives
people
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to make any improvements namely,
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
garden, swimming pool,
parking
Correct word choice
and parking
show examples
.
However
, I believe
this
trend can have negative impacts on individuals. To start with ,
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
show examples
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
is extremely expensive , which makes
people
only
saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
up money for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
in order to buy
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
rather than spend
this
money
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the moment.
Therefore
,
this
trend can put
people
under pressure, which leads to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the mental health issues
aomong
Correct your spelling
among
people
like,
deperssion
Correct your spelling
depression
, anxiety, or even
commit
Wrong verb form
committing
show examples
suicid
Correct your spelling
suicide
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, having
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
can restrict
people
freedom.
For instance
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
want to
searching
Change the verb
search
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
a better job out of their hometown can find it challenging. In conclusion, in my perspective, the
majors
Change the noun form
major
show examples
reasons
motivate
Correct pronoun usage
that motivate
show examples
people
to
owning
Change the verb form
own
show examples
their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
in order to have
secure
Replace the word
security
show examples
as well as
privacy,
however
, I believe
this
phenomenon can bring disadvantages
inculding
Correct your spelling
including
,
stress
Change preposition
including stress
show examples
,
inflexibility
Correct word choice
and inflexibility
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: