IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
#people #year #school #university #gain #work #travel #life #education
A number of young adults decide to take a
year
 gap between ending
education
 in Senior high
school
 and applying to college in order to get skills in the workplace or become travellers. I believe that statements can bring drawbacks and benefit to youngster life. On the one hand, there are several disadvantages to taking a
year
 out between finishing
school
 and starting a university.
Firstly
, young people will lose interest to continue their studies because they tend to feel comfortable with their jobs.
For instance
, my friend after he graduated from senior high
school
 he decided to
work
 as a temporary employee in a government office. After a
year
 of working as a temporary ,employee he did not want to continue his study because he thought he could earn money to fulfil his primary needs without gaining an
education
 in university.
Furthermore
, nowadays the
work
 world becoming more competitive. As far as we know, the aim of
education
 is to
gain
 a better job. Students who pursue their studies will
gain
 opportunities to reach their dreams and find better occupations. To illustrate, my nephew became a doctor after completing studies in medical
education
.
On the other hand
, there is an advantage when young adults decide to take a
year
 gap in order to
gain
work
 experience or
travel
. Young people become more independent because they
gain
 a lot of experience when their
work
 or
travel
.
For example
, when young adults were in senior high
school
 they lived under their parent's protection.
Therefore
, if their face a problem their relatives will help and give advice to them. Meanwhile, when they
work
 or
travel
 alone and face any problem they can learn to deal with it.
To conclude
,
although
 taking one
year
 out between finishing
school
 and joining university for gaining
work
 or
travel
 experience can benefit young people, I completely disagree since the disadvantages outweigh the advantage.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: