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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some children spend hous everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hous #smartphones #case #development
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Use synonyms
Smart-phones
Correct your spelling
Smartphones
show examples
 are the latest invented
product
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 in
this
Linking Words
 world which is used by every person in
this
Linking Words
 world.
Children
Use synonyms
 pass their time on the
Use synonyms
smart-phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 everyday as they get information about anything easily on
this
Linking Words
 invented
product
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. As
children
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 spend hours on
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 different applications at
phone
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the phone
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 to run
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
education
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 and
studies
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. As it can be positive or negative development
according to
Linking Words
usage
Add an article
the usage
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 of
smartphones
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 in the positive or negative way it depends on
children
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. The
smart-phone
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product
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 is
essential
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an essential
the essential
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 thing for people in daily life through
this
Linking Words
 invented
product
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children
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 spend hours daily routine in playing games, listening
songs
Change preposition
to songs
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, watching cartoons and
also
Linking Words
talk
Wrong verb form
talking
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 with their friends regarding their
studies
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 as any task or assignment
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
given by their teachers. As it’s a positive development because
children
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 do any of their
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
show examples
 easily on the
Use synonyms
smart-phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 through different applications in the smartphone.
However
Linking Words
, the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 spending time on
smartphones
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firstly
Linking Words
children
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 get information by using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
 as
children
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 search through Google regarding anything about their
studies
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 so they get information on
Use synonyms
smart-phone
Correct pronoun usage
their smart-phone
show examples
 easily.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
children
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 can talk to their teacher about their assignment given at home if any difficulty they are facing it so
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
 can tell them about that on
Use synonyms
smart-phone
Correct pronoun usage
their smart-phone
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 by using video
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 or
zoom
Correct your spelling
Zoom
show examples
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
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 easily.
For example
Linking Words
, In Pakistan during
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
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 situation
children
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 get
education
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 on
zoom
Correct your spelling
Zoom
show examples
 meeting
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 application as distance
required
Add a missing verb
is required
show examples
 between people in
this
Linking Words
 disease situation these
Use synonyms
smart-phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 help in providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
Use synonyms
smart-phone
Correct article usage
the smart-phone
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 is a technological
product
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 which is used by every person anytime in their daily life.
Children
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 use
smartphones
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 more than other age people because they play different games,
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 documentaries,
videos
Correct word choice
and videos
show examples
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
communicate with their friends as well. As
children
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 use
smartphones
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 for their
education
Use synonyms
 and
studies
Use synonyms
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 to do research regarding anything on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Submitted by bilaltip2000 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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