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Writing Samples /
Band 8

Task 2: Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their retirement. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #care #support #individuals #years #fund #retirement
Nowadays, more crowds argue that the authority should take
responsibility
 for and provide financial aid for the old
population
 who are already retired,
while
 other groups of the community claim that the public have a
responsibility
 for themselves they should an aware to save cash during their working years to find their retirement. I fairly believe that the ministry should pay more attention to old
people
 who have not able to produce and earn wages now. In terms of disadvantages, it is obvious that if politics take more concern for the retired crowd,
this
 means that taxes on the
population
 who work now will increase. Take an example, when the
government
 plans to build something new facilities
such
 as a nursing home, which bill they spend all from a group of community who working now.
Furthermore
, it is hard to ensure that old
people
 will use the money that the
government
 support effectively. Take some examples,
according to
 the daily news, more and more elder
population
 spend money on a gamble or drinking alcohol
instead
 of spending money on what they need. Despite the above disadvantages, I consider that all inhabitants have a
responsibility
 to take care of the community who have hard work for half of their life.
Moreover
, the
government
 can do many different types of things to improve and make their life better.
For example
, the care can set up more activities and more elderly concern centres, convene volunteers to visit these old
people
's homes look after them, and chat with them, that kind of thing doesn't spend a lot of cash but make earlier
people
 feel valued.
Also
, for those crowd who don't have offspring and were born into poor families, it is difficult for them to effort daily costs without a working salary, that's why the regime should give them financial aid.
Moreover
, the ministry can build training courses and give the retired
population
 an opportunity to work again. In conclusion, I believe that with unbelievable energy gathered from individuals’ power, the
government
 has a
responsibility
 to every country's residents.
Submitted by caelumz1121 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial support
  • retirement
  • government intervention
  • contribute to society
  • financial independence
  • safety net
  • personal responsibility
  • self-reliance
  • financial education
  • incentives
  • individual circumstances
  • sustainable
What to do next:
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