Competitiveness is generally considered a good quality for people to have in society.Do you think it is a positive development or negative trend ? how ddoes competitiveness affect individuals?

#competitiveness #quality #people #society #development #trend #ddoes #individuals

Manny

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Many

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people believe that being competitive is something that everyone should have to be

labeled

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labelled

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as good quality.

Although

it might lead to a better result, it has its own negative impact.

This

essay will elaborate more on

this

issue. On the one hand, having a competitive mind could make us want to do better in order to gain better

result

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results

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For instance

, if someone

are

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doing something in a group

then

each member

migh

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might

have their own purpose, having a competitive mind will make them want to be the best and produce the best work they

could

Wrong verb form

can

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do.

On the other hand

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

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environment might be tough for some people. They need to be as good as

other

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others

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and sometimes could affect their mental health.

For example

, a study in

korea

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Korea

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obtained

Verb problem

found

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that suicide cases are increasing nowadays

especially

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, especially

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final year

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final-year

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senior high

student

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students

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This

caused

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is caused

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student

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students

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burdensome

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apply

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expectation

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expectations

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that they need to be accepted

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into

show examples

prestigious

Add an article

a prestigious

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university

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universities

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. If they are not achieving it

then

most likely they will kill themself. In conclusion,

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believe that competitiveness

bring

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brings

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a lot of positive impacts but we should consider

Correct article usage

the negetive

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negetive

Correct your spelling

negative

impact

Fix the agreement mistake

impacts

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that could happen and avoid

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

as much as we can.

Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on Tue May 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

For better coherence, ensuring that ideas in each paragraph flow smoothly from one to another with appropriate linking words can enhance readability.

task achievement

Be careful with grammar and spelling. For instance, 'Manny people' should be 'Many people', 'are doing' should be 'is doing', and 'kill themself' should be 'kill themselves'.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which bounds the discussion effectively.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both positive and negative impacts of competitiveness.

task achievement

The examples provided in the essay are relevant and specific, which enhances the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

204 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Competitiveness is generally considered a good quality for people to have in society.Do you think it is a positive development or negative trend ? how ddoes competitiveness affect individuals?

Fully explain your ideas

It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people believe that violence in the media, such as in television programs and films, directly results in violent behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Popular events like the World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way to what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish, causing pollution on land and in the water, so people think they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?