Competitiveness is generally considered a good quality for people to have in society.Do you think it is a positive development or negative trend ? how ddoes competitiveness affect individuals?
Manny
people believe that being competitive is something that everyone should have to be Correct your spelling
Many
labeled
as good quality. Change the spelling
labelled
Although
it might lead to a better result, it has its own negative impact. This
essay will elaborate more on this
issue.
On the one hand, having a competitive mind could make us want to do better in order to gain better result
. Fix the agreement mistake
results
For instance
, if someone are
doing something in a group Change the verb form
is
then
each member migh
have their own purpose, having a competitive mind will make them want to be the best and produce the best work they Correct your spelling
might
could
do.
Wrong verb form
can
On the other hand
, competitive
environment might be tough for some people. They need to be as good as Correct article usage
a competitive
other
and sometimes could affect their mental health. Fix the agreement mistake
others
For example
, a study in korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
obtained
that suicide cases are increasing nowadays Verb problem
found
especially
in Add the comma(s)
, especially
final year
senior high Add a hyphen
final-year
student
. Fix the agreement mistake
students
This
caused
by Add a missing verb
is caused
student
burdensome Fix the agreement mistake
students
of
Change preposition
apply
expectation
that they need to be accepted Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
in
Change preposition
into
prestigious
Add an article
a prestigious
university
. If they are not achieving it Fix the agreement mistake
universities
then
most likely they will kill themself.
In conclusion, i
believe that competitiveness Change the capitalization
I
bring
a lot of positive impacts but we should consider Change the verb form
brings
Correct article usage
the negetive
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
impact
that could happen and avoid Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
it
as much as we can.Correct pronoun usage
them
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coherence cohesion
For better coherence, ensuring that ideas in each paragraph flow smoothly from one to another with appropriate linking words can enhance readability.
task achievement
Be careful with grammar and spelling. For instance, 'Manny people' should be 'Many people', 'are doing' should be 'is doing', and 'kill themself' should be 'kill themselves'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which bounds the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both positive and negative impacts of competitiveness.
task achievement
The examples provided in the essay are relevant and specific, which enhances the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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