IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart shows number of students who choose different subjects at university in 2005.

The chart shows number of students who choose different subjects at university in 2005.
#students #subjects #university
The graph illustrates the total of courses that be taken by college
students
 based on gender in 2005.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that there were more male learners that chose four subjects than women,
whereas
 female
students
 were the majority in three disciplines, and the humanities had
an equal numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
an equal number
equal numbers
show examples
.
To begin
, more than 20
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men selected their studies in science and mathematics, whilst the opposite accounted for below 10
million
 in that year.
Furthermore
, there were the same patterns in literature and law, in which
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most pupils were male
students
.
On the other hand
, a plethora of female learners picked the social sciences as
main
Correct pronoun usage
their main
show examples
disciplines
Fix the agreement mistake
discipline
show examples
,
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 at almost 25
million
;
however
 only under 15
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men
taken
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 it.
Similarly
, the arts and languages
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the least of male pupils, which
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
 beneath 5
million
. Meanwhile, there were
same
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 totals of
students
 who studied humanities in that period.
Submitted by dimasfajarairlangga on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: