Children are taught to push themselves to be better than their classmates rather than to work together for everyone's profit. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Most parents teach their
children
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to outperform others, and some schools even use
grades
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to judge their
children
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.
Although
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there are some benefits,
such
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as the chance to study at a top university.
However
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,
this
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also
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has obvious disadvantages. The child may become an egoist, has no sense of cooperation, and is not accepted by the
team
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. On the
one
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hand,
one
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of the main benefits of making
students
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strive to be the best is that they can exchange their hard
work
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for excellent
grades
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.
This
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can lead to better educational resources, giving them a better chance of entering top universities for
further
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study. Most parents still believe that scoring higher than the other side will give their
children
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that opportunity and boost their confidence. Having better
grades
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means having priority for subjects and jobs.
On the other hand
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,
due to
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the high expectations of parents for those
children
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with good
grades
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and the great pressure from teachers, today's
students
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spend most of their time studying, and they have no time to do other things they might want to do.
For example
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, they will refuse to go out with their classmates on weekends or hold outings in the class and will choose to go to remedial classes or study at home.
This
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makes them almost out of group life, and their personalities can become withdrawn and quiet. No
one
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wants to communicate with them, and in
team
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missions, probably no
one
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wants to invite them to join the
team
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.
As a result
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, these
students
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lose their friends and the ability to
work
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together. In conclusion, it is beneficial to motivate
students
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to strive for excellence in their studies.
However
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, they need to understand that competing alone won't
work
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every time. They need to
work
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as a
team
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with everyone else for everyone's benefit.
Submitted by y2083749065 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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