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Band 6.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal, some.people , however ,think that other tips of progress are equally important for country . Discuss both of the view and give your opinion ?

#governments #progress #people #tips #country
Several states say that financial development is a vital purpose.
However
, individuals believe that other types of improvements are equally important to the
country
. I will explain both points of view alone with examples. On the one hand, economic development is crucial for the
country
according to
 the governments.
Moreover
, without money states can not make budgets for the improvement of infrastructure.
For example
, in 2024 Bangladesh government completed many projects successfully without any debt from other countries because of its strong and massive economy with 400 billion G.D.P.
On the other hand
,
education
,
transportation
, and
communication
 need to progress as well says people.
Furthermore
, Having smooth
communication
 and an educated nation are so necessary to become financially developed.
For instance
, in South Asia, Singapur is a developed nation that has invested huge money in developing infrastructure and
communication
 networks. In my opinion, I would say that without improvements in
transportation
, communications,
education
, and medication no
country
 can not achieve economic goals.
For example
, several countries have been investing to develop their economies
such
 as the U.K. and the U.S.A.
Moreover
, many economists added that
instead
 of
education
,
communication
, and
transportation
 improvements
overall
 financial progress is vague and impossible. It does work as a key to the progress economy of any
country
. In conclusion, both are dependent on each other. But I would say the government needs to more invest in
communication
,
transportation
, and
education
 to acquire economic development and it has already proved that in many ways in the different states.
Submitted by shahjalal on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion, which is excellent for task achievement. To enhance, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good overall structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve, make sure to use a variety of linking phrases to better connect your ideas.
general advice
To further strengthen your essay, work on using a wider range of vocabulary and aim for accuracy in grammar to enhance readability and present your arguments more effectively.
examples
Providing specific examples like the economic development in Bangladesh and the investment in infrastructure in Singapore significantly supports your main points.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reaffirms your opinion, which is a key element of a strong essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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