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Band 7

2.Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults
Some people believe that
children
 should be free to make
mistakes
,
while
 others hold a different view, and they believe that adults should protect their offspring in case
children
 make
mistakes
 that cause harm to themselves.
This
 article will discuss both sides of the argument, and
then
 I will give my opinion. On the one hand, it is the responsibility of adults to help
children
 avoid making
mistakes
.
Children
 do not have the value of doing things right or wrong. What they do is driven by their curiosity without considering the right or wrong of the matter and its consequences .
For example
,
children
 may be interested in guns or knives because they see them in TV shows or movies, but when they actually come into contact with these dangerous items, they may hurt other people and themselves, so the child's activities under close adult supervision are necessary.
On the other hand
, curiosity is not harmless to
children
. Humans are excellent learners, capable of self-correction as they make
mistakes
. If
children
 are able to make
mistakes
 at home and at school without being stopped by their parents or teachers, they will learn from those failures and learn more from them. In
this
 way, they grow up
while
 making
mistakes
, and accumulate enough experience to face more risks and challenges when they step into society in the future. In summary, I believe that both views have their pros and cons.
However
, as far as I am concerned, I firmly believe that
although
children
's wrong behaviours need timely correction and proper education from parents,
children
 should be given enough room to make
mistakes
. Through continuous
mistakes
, they can accumulate enough experience to deal with unpredictable life challenges.
Submitted by y2083749065 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and opinion. The conclusion should provide a clear summary of the main points and restate the opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to establish logical connections between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are organized coherently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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