in some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can learn. opportunities.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount #opportunities

Nowadays,

although

some

people

are earning uncountable

money

from their businesses, plenty of individuals criticize the situation

due to

its harm

Change preposition

show examples

countries, others advocate that a few

people

should continue earning good

money

in their jobs.

This

essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the letter. On the one hand, quite a small of employees do compelling

work

in their job area.

Furthermore

As a result

, those individuals deserve impressive cash in the job by taking risks and significant roles. income is a fundamental method for workers in order to proceed logically in their careers. Was the government lessened their salary, they would not be motivated to

work

in the office.

For instance

, in 2018 Spain government amended their rules about

salaries

in jobs. it was observed that a myriad of

people

dismissed their

work

Moreover

, not only does earning huge

money

contribute to

people

's focus on their

work

and

Correct word choice

but

show examples

also

promotes human life quality. In

this

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

criminal issues would have a downward trend around the country.

On the other hand

, the

finance

Replace the word

financial

show examples

system of the country might be exposed by some individuals earning a lot of

money

Besides

, Governments could reduce their other contribution to the environment in order to provide a fund for employees deserving to earn good

salaries

For example

Republic

Correct article usage

the Republic

show examples

of Turkey was able to present its financial

circumstance

Fix the agreement mistake

circumstances

show examples

by benefitting from the method.

Thus

state

Correct article usage

the state

show examples

tend

Change the verb form

tends

show examples

to reduce significant

people

salaries

so as to provide locals with beneficial opportunities. In my opinion,

economic

Correct article usage

the economic

show examples

ministry in countries should lessen the amount of

salaries

for specific persons in order to navigate the economic source of the country to other parts of things. In conclusion, developing

salaries

has extreme disadvantages for citizens because of its burden on the economy.

However

this

essay advocates that countries should amend their procedures on

salaries

to provide locals with good

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Task Response

Try to develop your ideas more fully by providing more detailed examples and explanations. This will help support your main points and make your argument stronger.

Grammar

Be cautious with grammar and punctuation errors as they can occasionally disrupt the flow of your essay. Paying attention to these details will improve the clarity of your writing.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on linking your paragraphs and ideas more smoothly. This can be achieved by using a variety of linking words and phrases, ensuring a better flow throughout your essay.

Task Achievement

You successfully provided a clear stance and argument throughout your essay, maintaining focus on the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, providing a strong framework for your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

317 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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in some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can learn. opportunities.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, as women and men have to work full-time household duties should be equally divided. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries in the world, young generations start leaving their parents' homes once they finish high school. They start living on their terms or share a house with friends or colleagues. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer.

When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?