IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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There may be divergent views regarding whether employees should have more off
days
Use synonyms
.
While
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 some people think it is beneficial to work for five
days
Use synonyms
 on
weekly
Correct article usage
a weekly
show examples
 basis, I am convinced by the view that a longer weekend is advantageous to both workers and companies. There are several reasons why the working week should remain the same.
Firstly
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, companies reducing the number of working
days
Use synonyms
 could negatively impact their services or manufacturing, potentially affecting economic productivity.
Then
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, businesses might face challenges in meeting customers’ demands with fewer working hours.
Secondly
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, implementing a shorter workweek may increase costs for industries, especially if they need to hire additional staff to cover the reduced hours.
This
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 could be particularly challenging for small businesses with limited financial resources.
On the other hand
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, there are some individuals who argue that the day off should be longer. One of the reasons is that a longer weekend can reduce stress and burnout. Chronic stress from overwork can lead to serious health problems,
such
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 as obesity, headaches, and mental illnesses.
As a result
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, a shorter workweek can promote superior physical and mental health.
Furthermore
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, a shorter workweek can lead to better work-life balance, allowing employees more time to spend with family, pursuing hobbies and engaging in leisure activities to enhance
overall
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 life satisfaction.
Additionally
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, fewer working
days
Use synonyms
 can mean less commuting, leading to lower carbon emissions and reduced traffic congestion.
This
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 can contribute positively to the environment.
Thus
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, I strongly concur that the companies should provide extended weekends. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some people worry that
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
show examples
 day off might result in inconvenience for individuals or our society, I am of the opinion that people are inclined to have a happier and healthier life if they have more time to relax.
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coherence cohesion
Consider implementing additional transitional phrases to further improve the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Review the structure of your sentences for even greater clarity and conciseness.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to further support your points.
task achievement
You provided a well-rounded discussion, addressing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas and clear paragraphing made the essay easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of language and vocabulary relevant to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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