In some societies, more and more people are choosing to live on their own? What are the reasons people choose to do this? Is it a positive or negative trend?
In many countries, as
people
turn to their twentieth
and Correct your spelling
twenties
claiming
themselves as Wrong verb form
claim
an
independent adult. Correct article usage
apply
People
are begin
more and more to Change the verb form
are beginning
choosing
to live on their own. In Change the form of the verb
choose
this
essay
I would like to give Add a comma
essay,
brief
opinion about the reason why Add an article
a brief
people
tend to choose this
way and also
give the impact of this
trend.
As an adult in their twentieth
, Correct your spelling
twenties
people
would choose to live on their own because of not wanting to cause much burden for their parents
. This
decision will ensure that the independent characteristic
will appear significantly after they are going through Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
this
period. For example
, in asian
country, the Correct article usage
an asian
parents
likely
to take care of their children Add a missing verb
are likely
until
dozens of years, which Change preposition
for
is make
their children probably Wrong verb form
makes
having
Wrong verb form
have
extremely
hard Add an article
an extremely
time
to take
care of Change the verb form
taking
themselve
after their Correct your spelling
themselves
parents
died
or not Wrong verb form
die
taking
care of them anymore. Wrong verb form
take
Moreover
, by trying to live wiith
Correct your spelling
with
tehir
own, they will not only be independent but Correct your spelling
their
also
able to choose their own path without having to worry about someone telling them no or telling them what to do.
On the other hand
, the impact of living by
their own have had on Change preposition
on
familiy
with several Correct your spelling
family
families
child
can be seen as negative. They tend to forget about their Change to a plural noun
children
parents
because of the
hectic and busy work Change the word
their
time
. Sadly, numerous of them are also
not consider to
giving their free Change preposition
apply
time
to just come by their parent’s house. Consequently
, their family connection will becoming
increasingly disjointed and fragmented as they are spending more Change the verb form
become
be becoming
their
free Change preposition
of their
time
outside with business parntership
or friends rather than with family Correct your spelling
partners
especially
their Add the comma(s)
, especially
parents
.
To conclude
, altough
living Correct your spelling
although
by
their own Change preposition
on
have
brought more Correct subject-verb agreement
has
the
independent self characteristic, they have not had the same effect Change preposition
of the
to
Change preposition
on
parents
with only several children. They should have more self awareness
of their family, giving them Add a hyphen
self-awareness
time
to gather will making
the connection more sorely.Wrong verb form
make
Submitted by baitynuris191 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is weak, and the introduction and conclusion are not well-presented. You should work on organizing your ideas in a more clear and structured way.
task achievement
Your response to the task is incomplete. You have presented some ideas but failed to address the question fully. Make sure to thoroughly address all aspects of the question in your essay.
lexical resource grammatical range
Your lexical resource and grammatical range are satisfactory. However, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the quality of your essay.