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Writing Samples /
Band 6

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using mobile phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

#future #people #shops #cash #payments #card #phones
In the era of digitalization, where everything is getting digitalized, shopkeepers may
stopped
Change the verb form
stop
show examples
 accepting
cash
 entirely and prefer online
payments
 by using cards
as well as
 mobile phones. I disagree with
this
 fact as
this
 would exclude those customers who prefer
cash
 over online
payments
.
To begin
 with, online
payments
 are getting widely accepted all over the world. One of the main reasons is international transactions.
This
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 can pay through their cards on any online and offline sites in any country
while
 going on foreign trips. They don't need to worry about the currency of the respective countries.
Moreover
, there is always a fear of
pocket picking
Add a hyphen
pocket-picking
show examples
 in crowded areas of tourist places. They can roam freely without fear of being robbed and enjoy their time.
By contrast
, less privileged
people
 in less affluent countries, who mostly have basic cell phones, may not be comfortable using electronic gadgets.
Furthermore
, bank accounts are traditionally used for saving money. There is a survey in Pakistan,
for instance
, that shows 40% of the population lack bank accounts because their income makes it difficult to save. Even older
people
 prefer
cash
, finding it easier than adapting to new technology.
Additionally
, their lack of vigilance regarding online fraud can lead to the loss of their entire savings in a single incident. In conclusion,
while
 digitalization is leading to a preference for online
payments
, completely eliminating
cash
 is unlikely.
This
 is because adapting to new technologies can be challenging for many
people
 around the world.
Submitted by ayeshaf1339 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you fully address the question by presenting a clear stance on whether you think cashless payments will entirely replace cash and discussing both aspects of the question. Your introduction indicates disagreement, but make sure to explore the possibility of a cashless future and its implications clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Structure your essay to enhance readability and logical flow. Introduce your ideas clearly in the introduction, develop each within its own paragraph, and conclude your discussion effectively. Use paragraphing to separate distinct ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary accurately to link ideas within and across paragraphs. However, avoid overusing connectors or making them the principal means to achieve coherence.
Task Achievement
Support your arguments with specific examples and explanations. While some examples are provided, further elaboration could strengthen your argument. For instance, expand on the survey in Pakistan with more detail or how exactly being cash-reliant impacts different demographics.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
What to do next:
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