In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using mobile phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

#future #people #shops #cash #payments #card #phones

In the era of digitalization, where everything is getting digitalized, shopkeepers may

stopped

Change the verb form

stop

show examples

accepting

cash

entirely and prefer online

payments

by using cards

as well as

mobile phones. I disagree with

this

fact as

this

would exclude those customers who prefer

cash

over online

payments

To begin

with, online

payments

are getting widely accepted all over the world. One of the main reasons is international transactions.

This

means

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

people

can pay through their cards on any online and offline sites in any country

while

going on foreign trips. They don't need to worry about the currency of the respective countries.

Moreover

, there is always a fear of

pocket picking

Add a hyphen

pocket-picking

show examples

in crowded areas of tourist places. They can roam freely without fear of being robbed and enjoy their time.

By contrast

, less privileged

people

in less affluent countries, who mostly have basic cell phones, may not be comfortable using electronic gadgets.

Furthermore

, bank accounts are traditionally used for saving money. There is a survey in Pakistan,

for instance

, that shows 40% of the population lack bank accounts because their income makes it difficult to save. Even older

people

prefer

cash

, finding it easier than adapting to new technology.

Additionally

, their lack of vigilance regarding online fraud can lead to the loss of their entire savings in a single incident. In conclusion,

while

digitalization is leading to a preference for online

payments

, completely eliminating

cash

is unlikely.

This

is because adapting to new technologies can be challenging for many

people

around the world.

Submitted by ayeshaf1339 on Sat Mar 09 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure you fully address the question by presenting a clear stance on whether you think cashless payments will entirely replace cash and discussing both aspects of the question. Your introduction indicates disagreement, but make sure to explore the possibility of a cashless future and its implications clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Structure your essay to enhance readability and logical flow. Introduce your ideas clearly in the introduction, develop each within its own paragraph, and conclude your discussion effectively. Use paragraphing to separate distinct ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary accurately to link ideas within and across paragraphs. However, avoid overusing connectors or making them the principal means to achieve coherence.

Task Achievement

Support your arguments with specific examples and explanations. While some examples are provided, further elaboration could strengthen your argument. For instance, expand on the survey in Pakistan with more detail or how exactly being cash-reliant impacts different demographics.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

digital payments
convenient
efficiency
reduce crime
tangibility
privacy
limited access to technology
job losses

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In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using mobile phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

International tourism creates tension rather than understanding among people from different cultures. Do you agree or disagree?

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Research into new types of medicine and treatments are essential for improving health and deal with disease. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or governments?

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?