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Band 6.5

Nowaday, more and more people commit crimes. What are causes and solutions?

#nowaday #people #crimes
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In today's world, the
level
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 of
crime
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 is increasing, especially in urban places.
This
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 problem occurs as an economic issue and distinguishing what is true or false for
children
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 . There are so many solving methods but I believe that the most effective ways are creating a budget for the homeless
governments
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 and not allowing them to have guns First and foremost, walking in the evening is getting hard, especially for women because of the
crime
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 rate. Generally,
people
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 who do not have jobs tend to do breaking the law. They do not afford to live like a normal person.
Therefore
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, they start to do heists or other criminal things
also
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 because of the low education rate, individuals break laws.
Moreover
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, during the pandemic,
children
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 playing habits changed in a detrimental way, and it leads to playing online
games
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 majorly. There are so many
games
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 which are not appropriate for
children
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such
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 as GTA or Payday. In these
games
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, players can do lots of things which are not equal to normal life which are bank heists, jumping from skyscrapers etc. These things affect
children
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's mental health
also
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according to
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 USA researchers,
children
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 who play these
games
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 are more tendency to brake rules.  To solve
this
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 problem,
governments
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 should create funding to give money to
people
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 who live on the streets. In
this
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 way,
people
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 do not need to ask to help from strangers.
Also
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, crimes are related to poverty, commonly.
Therefore
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,
governments
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 ought to create new funding to give homeless to decrease the
level
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 of
crime
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.
Moreover
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, in some regions,
people
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 can buy guns easily.
Therefore
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,
people
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 can use these guns for breaking rules which are created to protect
people
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.
Thus
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, to decline
crime
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 numbers,
governments
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 should not allow individual armament.
To sum up
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, considering everything that has been stated so far, playing online
games
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 which are not appropriate for
children
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,and economic problems are related to increasing the
level
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 of
crime
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.
Governments
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 should decrease the personal armament
level
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 and create funds for the homeless to solve
this
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 problem.
Submitted by yunussemreozkaya on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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