It is important for people to take risks, both in personal lives and their perfessional lives. Do you thing the adventages outweight the disadventages?

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As humans, we are likely to face many challenging situations through ourselves. The hardships happen naturally and can mostly not be avoided.
However
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, I do believe that
although
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there are possible negative outcomes, we can still learn to handle these situations for taking many benefits as the implications. The most drawback impact of taking risks is failure. The majority of immature businessmen,
for instance
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, avoid it because it might make them lose the amount of their capital. Not only that but
also
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their reputation among their families and loved ones could be sacrificed.
Whereas
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,
this
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situation undoubtedly can be managed in several ways like having discussions with successful entrepreneurs and creating a set of strategies to address similar ones. If the individuals took risks bravely, they would achieve bigger achievements compared to the opposites. The more they sacrifice, the more beneficial results they will gain.
That is
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a natural theory from numerous philosophers. As an intriguing illustration, in Indonesia, there were thousands of health researchers trying their best to cure some deathly diseases like tuberculosis (TB) and malaria. They habitually had to observe the aetiology of those illnesses face-to-face from a closed distance.
Hence
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,
due to
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the fact of their true sacrifices, we have known how to treat TB
as well as
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malaria patients swiftly. In conclusion, risky movements might bring a number of drawbacks which are not comfortable for humans like failing and losing much of their money. Despite the possible drawbacks, being brave enough to face every single risk happening in life, will bring huge advantages.
Submitted by lulukfuru on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the question prompt and clearly express whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or not. Your personal opinion should be evident throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, using topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph followed by supporting sentences. The essay should have a logical flow that is easy to follow.
task achievement
Provide clear and specific examples to support your points. Examples should be relevant and enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Although you have attempted to create a logical structure, try to improve the link between ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words.
coherence and cohesion
Include a clear conclusion that restates your position and summarizes the main points of the essay, ensuring it aligns with your introduction and overall argument.
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