IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many student choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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the trend of having a one-year break before joining university is quite arising these days among youngsters, Basically, for working and travelling
However
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 some folks consider it a waste of time and money but I think it enhances their practical knowledge.I intend to discuss it
further
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.
To begin
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 with, The opponents of the trend say that
such
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 a large gap may drag the students behind in their studies because it breaks the consistency of learning.
Whereas
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, Students who work could learn a lot more skills required in a career than reading a book
as well as
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while
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 travelling an individual had interaction with the real world. Student gets the opportunity to see and examine those things practically that they usually read in books.
For instance
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, when a wildlife lover travels in the jungle he can see animals and examine their behaviour clearly rather than reading biology books.
Moreover
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, when a youngster works for a year he or she
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 arrange money for their studies
along with
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 gaining the experience they get.
while
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 working they will learn the value of the money their parents spend on them and it will improve their communication skills because during jobs they deal with people having different behaviours.
For example
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, when someone is doing a job of customer service
such
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 as cashier, call centre, reception etc. he or she has to talk with
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many people in a day which improves communication.
To conclude
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, the gap in studies might look like a break from education but if it is utilized in travel and working it would be extremely beneficial in empowering an individual with lifelong experiences and wisdom.

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task response
The essay provides a clear response to the task, with relevant examples and ideas. The points are well-developed and supported with appropriate details. Maintain this level of detail and relevance throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in linking ideas within paragraphs and using a wider range of cohesive devices. Work on using more linking words and varied sentence structures to improve coherence and cohesion.
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