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Band 7.5

Some people enjoy the excitement of city life. Other people prefer the peace of small-town living. Would you rather live in a big city or a small town? Why? Use specific examples to support your preference.

#people #excitement #city #life #peace #town #support
When it comes to a perfectly good living environment, I believe it depends on how old I am. With each stage and age in my life, I have different choices as below. On the one hand, Ho Chi Minh City is one of the biggest cities in VietNam. I am sure that when I study at the university here, I will certainly have access to advanced education, practice opportunities, and good lecturers and classmates to study with.
Furthermore
, thousands of companies welcome new students to internships and immediate job opportunities after graduation.
On the other hand
, with the competitiveness of many occupations, the city offers us many job opportunities with good welfare policies. I will earn money and save it for the future. Plus, younger members of my family can receive a better education, especially English skills because you know, in modern cities, many countries and their people invest and work here, so the opportunity to interact with foreigners to study, live, work and travel is very easy.
Besides
, I should not forget to mention the advantages of better healthcare services. With a team of leading medical doctors, the hospital is equipped with modern facilities, machines, and a variety of medicines to treat diseases well. Every day thousands of people from provinces and cities come to HCMC for medical examination and treatment, which you can easily see when passing by any hospital here. When I retire, I will choose a small town and come back to my hometown – Ninh Thuan Province to live because there is a peaceful sight with the sea, mountains, and many relationships especially many memories from where I was born. Every day that passes will be gentle and peaceful.
Furthermore
, with enough money accumulated at a young age, choosing a town to live in will lower the cost of living. In conclusion, living in a big city or small town is your choice which brings happiness,
peace
Correct word choice
and peace
show examples
 for every member of your family to make life happy and meaningful.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Task Achievement
Though you clearly outline your preference and give different considerations based on age, there is room for deeper exploration and reflection on your personal reasons throughout your life stages. This could strengthen your position and task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, it is important that each paragraph centers around one main idea to ensure clarity and cohesion. It is also suggested to use a broader range of cohesive devices.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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