Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extend do you agree?

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It is true that social
media
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has become a crucial part of many
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's lives, especially those of the younger generation who grew up sharing their private life on online platforms
such
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as Instagram or Facebook. There’s criticism from different groups of
people
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since it affects young
adult’s
Fix the agreement mistake
adults’

It seems that adult’s may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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mental health. I agree that the negative effects of using those online sites overweigh the advantages.
Firstly
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, the modern world has become more superficial and money-oriented than it has ever been before. Young adults grew up with social
media
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and the constant pressure of showing their wealth and comparing themselves to others.
For example
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, they post pictures of new clothes and fancy holiday destinations. The popularity of social
media
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has
also
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transformed the society we live in. 15 years ago most
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would have gone to a shop and simply buy
what’s
Wrong verb form
what was

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb ’s. Consider changing it.

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available or
visit
Wrong verb form
visited

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb visit. Consider changing it.

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a travel agency to decide on their next adventure,
whereas
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nowadays most
people
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lack the ability to decide for themselves, and
instead
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choose to do and buy what’s widely accepted in society. Young adults, especially, would rather buy a jacket they’ve seen on their favourite Instagram account than one they found
elsewhere
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.
Besides
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the disadvantages of social networking sites, there are a few positive sides to it. It is beneficial
using
Change the verb form
to use

Using doesn’t seem to work here.

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a page like Facebook to stay in contact with family and friends when living or travelling overseas. Sharing pictures and stories about their life away makes
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

feel like they are close to their loved ones.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it saves time since pictures only have to be shared and commented on once for everyone to see. Another positive example of using social
media
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would be for a business.
In particular
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

small businesses can place relatively cheap and target-focused advertisements. The comments function on most platforms enables users to share their opinion, which allows a business to amend their service based on customer needs and create a better value for society. In conclusion, I think that social
media
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has become a large part of our lives and it negatively impacts
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's mental health and ability to judge for themselves, which is why I think that the disadvantages overweigh.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are a few advantages like sharing experiences with close
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

when away from home.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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