The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

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The diagram details the process by which carbonated drinks are produced. Looking from an

overall

Linking Words

perspective, it is readily apparent that

this

Linking Words

5 stage man-made process is comprised of the filtering of raw

water

Use synonyms

and

addition

Correct article usage

the addition

show examples

of carbon dioxide in the early steps, mixing with additional ingredients in the middle, and

finally

Linking Words

packaging it off to be sold.

Change the preposition

show examples

the beginning, raw

water

Use synonyms

is cleaned by passing through a filter before

Use synonyms

water

Correct article usage

a water

show examples

softener and chemicals are added. The clean

water

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

pumped into a heater and is eventually sent through a cooling pipe to the pivotal stage where carbon dioxide is introduced to create the carbonated effect. From there, the carbonated

water

Use synonyms

is mixed with colouring, syrup and flavours and filtered again prior to bottling and canning. The finished drinks are

then

Linking Words

boxed up and sent to supermarkets for retail.

dnm.bestThu Jun 22 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

141 words

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The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A big salary is more important than job satisfaction? Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that nowadays there are too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Education should be accessible to people of all economic background. All level of education from primary school to tertiary education should be free. To what extent do you agree with this opinion.

The company you work for has decided to close the cafeteria as the staff is not using it much. You are not happy with the decision. Write a letter to the director: - Give reasons of low usage - How will it affect the staff - Suggest ways to improve it