The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.
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The diagram details the process by which carbonated drinks are produced. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, it is readily apparent that
this
Linking Words
5 stage man-made process is comprised of the filtering of raw
water
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and
addition
Correct article usage
the addition
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of carbon dioxide in the early steps, mixing with additional ingredients in the middle, and
finally
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packaging it off to be sold.
At
Change the preposition
In
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the beginning, raw
water
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is cleaned by passing through a filter before
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
a water
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softener and chemicals are added. The clean
water
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is
then
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pumped into a heater and is eventually sent through a cooling pipe to the pivotal stage where carbon dioxide is introduced to create the carbonated effect. From there, the carbonated
water
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is mixed with colouring, syrup and flavours and filtered again prior to bottling and canning. The finished drinks are
then
Linking Words
boxed up and sent to supermarkets for retail.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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