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Writing Samples
Band 7

The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of modern lifestyle. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In
this
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 day and age, more and more people prefer having a quick grab of fast
food
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 or ready-made
food
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 after an exhausting working day.
While
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 some people fall for the advantages of
this
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, there are many others who beg to differ. I mostly argue the disadvantages of
such
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 an idea. On the one hand, a convenient meal is no doubt an opportunity to save
numerous
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
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time
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 for each individual.
That is
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 to say, many people are going to work these days and experiencing a very sedentary lifestyle which hinders their
time
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 spent preparing proper
food
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.
For example
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, if a family of four with both parents working and the kids going to school, a quick visit to a ready-made
food
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 store will save so much of their
time
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 preparing for
food
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 and beyond, they can have more
time
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 for conversation and relaxation together.
In other words
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, family members can have more choices of
food
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 since fast
food
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does offer
Wrong verb form
offers
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 a wide range of dishes, which can make them bond better without starting any arguments with regard to
food
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 preferences.
On the other hand
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, overconsumption of fast
food
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 might lead to some serious health issues. It can be easily seen that ready foodstuff is not as nutritious as homemade
food
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. It is shown in some studies that fast cuisine tends to contain various substances that are generally unhealthy and high in sugar, salt, saturated ingredients and many processed preservatives.
As a result
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, overconsumption of
this
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 type of meal can cause some diseases
such
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 as obesity or heart problems.
Besides
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, spending on quick meals will cost so much more than self-prepared
food
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 and might cause a family some unexpected financial imbalance. Taking both sides into account,
this
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 is undeniable that pre-packaged
food
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 offers both good and bad sides.
However
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, after careful consideration, I believe the disadvantages can exceed the advantages.

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task response
Ensure that your arguments and examples are evenly balanced between advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
You have a good overall logical structure in your essay, but make sure your ideas are connected clearly and cohesively throughout the essay.
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