Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that governments should prioritize addressing environmental
pollution
and housing Use synonyms
issues
as a means to prevent health-related Use synonyms
problems
. From my perspective, I largely agree with Use synonyms
this
statement.
On the one hand, there are several methods to deter illness and disease that the government can invest in. Biological research or clinical study could be taken as prominent examples. These studies potentially lead to a better understanding, or better yet, new knowledge about different aspects of health Linking Words
issues
, thereby preventing illness and eliminating the roots of it efficiently. Use synonyms
However
, these research plans may incur substantial costs Linking Words
due to
the need for numerous facilities. Linking Words
Consequently
, governments might Linking Words
expend
on these domains but do not necessarily focus on them.
Correct your spelling
expand
On the other hand
, an investment in reducing environmental Linking Words
problems
and house-related ones Use synonyms
are
seemingly more effective than the aforementioned. First and foremost, people are exposed to the surrounding environment, including both public areas and houses, on a daily basis. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
hence
, if there are some Linking Words
evironment
Correct your spelling
environmental
environment
issues
Use synonyms
such
as air Linking Words
pollution
or water Use synonyms
pollution
, their health is immediately impacted profoundly; and because of Use synonyms
this
, when Linking Words
such
Linking Words
problems
are addressed, the benefits will quickly come Use synonyms
as a result
. Linking Words
For instance
, when air Linking Words
pollution
in Hanoi is reduced Use synonyms
due to
municipal initiatives, reports indicate a decrease in the number of respiratory-related patients. Ultimately, it is more urgent to tackle Linking Words
issues
related to the environment and housing.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
there may be other remedies to prevent ailments and diseases Linking Words
such
as scientific research, I advocate that emphasis on reducing environmental and housing Linking Words
problems
is of paramount significance.Use synonyms
Submitted by chungoc2001 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you have a clear overall structure to your essay, with a distinct introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. Using linking words and phrases to connect ideas will enhance readability and flow.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and clear, try to make your conclusion more comprehensive by summarizing all the key points mentioned in the essay, not just restating the thesis.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear and relevant examples. The example of Hanoi is good, but adding one more example or demonstrating a wider range of scenarios can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Make sure you respond fully to the task by elaborating on how the government's measures on environmental pollution and housing can prevent illness. Perhaps consider counterpoints to enrich the discussion and show a full engagement with the topic.
task achievement
Articulate your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Aim to expand on your reasoning why government focus on environmental pollution and housing will prevent diseases. This can be achieved through more detailed explanations or by bringing in additional evidence or reasoning.
task achievement
Providing specific examples gives weight to your arguments. When mentioning examples, ensure that they are directly relevant to the prevention of illness and disease. You may want to research facts, figures, or studies that back up your points.