Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better alternative ways. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

#people #tax #industries #pollution #alternative

There is a debate about whether raising

taxes

on industries can help reduce pollution or if there are better alternatives.

While

some people believe in the effectiveness of increasing

taxes

, others argue that other practical ways can solve

this

problem. In my view, I firmly agree with the second opinion. On the one hand, it can not be denied that increasing

taxes

has a noticeable impact on reducing pollution levels. Businesses would need to modernize their treatment systems in order not to pay higher environmental

taxes

and produce eco-friendly products that reduce harmful effects on natural habitats.

However

, these changes come at a high price, making production costs more expensive and threatening the stability of companies.

For example

, once the cost of using public transport ,

raising

Verb problem

rises

show examples

because they use clean materials, residents

then

prefer to purchase their

cars

Correct word choice

own cars

show examples

and reduce the use of local transport. If

this

were the case, citizen demand for services would decline,

further

affecting employment rates.

On the other hand

, I strongly support those who believe that distinct ways can handle

this

problem

instead

of raising

taxes

on industries. Many actions can be taken to protect our planet. Authorities should organize different teams of guardians that take care of and regenerate specific contaminated places. It is

also

crucial to have detailed reports regarding these polluted areas and practical measures undertaken by guardians.

Finally

, citizens have permission to monitor these team efforts regularly, ensuring they fulfil their responsibilities as expected. After a year of work, the government rewards them as incentives for individuals participating in

such

activities. In conclusion, raising

taxes

on industries may offer short-term benefits against pollution reduction;

nonetheless

, it threatens economic stability,

while

there are worth exploring methods for ecosystems that positively impact society long-term.

Submitted by phamnhung275 on Mon Jun 26 2023

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task response

Task Achievement: The response does not fully address all parts of the task. It provides a one-sided argument without adequately discussing both views and presenting a balanced opinion. More comprehensive coverage of the topic and a balanced opinion are needed.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is fairly clear, but the supporting main points lack depth and development. To improve, focus on providing more detailed and comprehensive support for the main points, and ensure that all ideas are linked cohesively throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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