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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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These days, the
development
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 of
smartphones
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 has significantly affected our daily lives, connecting people, providing a range of information, and efficiently assisting with various tasks.
However
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, there has been a debate about whether it is beneficial for
children
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 to spend hours using
smartphones
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. I firmly believe that
children
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's excessive smartphone usage has a negative impact on their
development
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 for several reasons.
Firstly
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, spending too much
time
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 on
smartphones
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 leads to a sedentary lifestyle.
For example
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, when
children
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 play with
smartphones
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, they rarely move and remain in the same seated or lying position.
This
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 hinders their engagement in outdoor activities, which are crucial for their physical
development
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 and puts them at risk of child obesity.
Moreover
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, the more
children
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 use
smartphones
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, the less they interact with their friends.
In other words
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,
children
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 who spend their
time
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 alone with
smartphones
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 might lack essential social skills,
such
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 as cooperation and positive interaction, which are typically enhanced through social experiences. I have a friend who used to prefer spending
time
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 playing with devices alone, and she now struggles with maintaining relationships and collaborating with others in conversations.
Lastly
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,
children
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 who spend over an hour on
smartphones
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 every day are likely to develop an addiction to them. Smartphone addiction can have a range of side effects, including mental health problems, decreased concentration on learning, and insomnia. These factors have a detrimental impact on their
overall
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development
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.
To conclude
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, despite the various benefits of
smartphones
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 in terms of convenience and connectivity,
children
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's excessive usage of them can lead to a variety of negative side effects that hinder their
overall
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development
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.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that
children
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 should be encouraged to spend less
time
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 on their
smartphones
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.
Submitted by jinny921108 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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