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Band 6.5

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #times
In the modern world, quality of
life
 has increased significantly
due to
 some economic and financial changes over
time
.
This
 will provide a good and healthy society compared to 20 or 40 years ago. I personally agree with
this
 matter and believe it has a
life
-changing impact on people's lives. In the following essay, I will discuss both agreement and disagreement views. On the positive side, the education and the health care systems have totally changed and have led to the greatest number of graduates from universities which will result in a higher number of specialists in different jobs. On the other side, more healthcare professionals will lead to a better healthcare system.
For example
, a higher number of graduates in doctor of medicine will provide
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
easier access to the patient which will lead to a better diagnosis and result in the right
time
 medication. On the negative side, the older generation has the ability to spend their
time
 freely without hesitation compared to today's
life
. We all experience a
life
 full of anxiety and depression which might be one of the negative parts of social media which is very popular nowadays. People used to spend their
time
 with their family share their thoughts and enjoy their
life
 peacefully which gradually disappeared from new families. In conclusion, people are experiencing a great and healthy lifestyle
as well as
 a complex and irritating
life
 which is the result of modern world society. What makes it important is how they would change their lifestyle
base
Wrong verb form
based
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 on the entire world.
Submitted by kk1994 on

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Task Response
To improve Task Response, ensure that you fully address all aspects of the task. Make sure your position is clear throughout the essay, and back up your arguments with specific and detailed reasons or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, work on connecting ideas more effectively. Use a wider range of linking words and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your points. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that directly relates to your thesis.
Task Response
To bolster your score, further develop your ideas within each paragraph. Elaborate on your examples to explain how they specifically relate to your main points, enhancing the essay's depth of analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structural framework.
Task Response
You successfully address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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