Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is true that the most serious environmental problem is a disaster in the modern world.
While
a number of
people
consider
plants
and
animals
to be the most important to the environment, I would argue that there are more serious
problems
such
as climate change and global warming. On the one hand, it is argued that the loss of
species
may cause many
problems
.
Firstly
, many
people
think that the loss of
animals
and
plants
can cause
the
Correct article usage
a
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lack of food. In fact, if some
species
of
animals
become extinct, others may die out too
as a consequence
of food shortage, leading to the imbalance of the ecosystem.
For instance
, if there are no worms in the world, some kinds of birds may disappear.
Secondly
, the disappearance of the
plants
can affect the air quality since the
plants
can produce oxygen to help
people
to
Change preposition
apply
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breath
Replace the word
breathe
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.
Therefore
, without
plants
Add a comma
plants,
show examples
people
may suffer from air pollution.
On the other hand
, I believe that there are much more important
problems
. The first problem is that
people
do not pay much attention to the environment.
For example
, many
people
throw rubbish in public areas like rivers or lakes, which leads to heavy pollution. Another reason is that global warming or climate change will imbalance the ecosystem, which will cause the Earth to become hotter and lead to disasters like floods, landslides, etc.
As a result
, human life and other
species
will be severely affected. In conclusion,
although
both views have some validity, it seems to me that there are more important environmental
problems
than the loss of particular
species
of
plants
and
animals
.
Submitted by phuongank1511 on

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task response
Ensure the essay addresses all aspects of the topic by presenting a balanced view of both arguments and providing a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally sound; however, consider using more cohesive devices to strengthen the connection between paragraphs and ideas.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used to articulate ideas more effectively and demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay closer attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to improve overall coherence and clarity.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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