In modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
People hold diverse opinions regarding the utilization of various elements and substances sourced from animals, including their use in the garment industry, medical experiments, and pharmaceutical drug production.
While
some argue that humans can rely on animal-derived resources for various aspects of life, I am of the belief that these practices should be phased out in the foreseeable future for several compelling reasons.
To commence, advancements in cutting-edge technology have enabled humans to conceive an array of innovative Linking Words
materials
that are gradually supplanting traditional animal products. Use synonyms
For instance
, within the garment industry, synthetic Linking Words
materials
Use synonyms
such
as nylon, derived from crude oil, have been developed in recent years. These synthetic alternatives are progressively displacing animal-based Linking Words
materials
like leather, feathers, fur, and wool. There is Use synonyms
also
a growing trend towards plant-based or cultured substitutes for animal-derived foods, with numerous companies producing plant-based alternatives that closely mimic the taste and functionality of animal-based ingredients, gaining wider acceptance among consumers.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, the exploitation of animals should be viewed as a form of abuse, which can lead to the endangerment and potential extinction of certain species. Linking Words
For instance
, various endangered species, Linking Words
such
as rhinos and elephants, have been hunted for their high-value body parts, like rhino horns and elephant ivory, used in the production of luxury items. Linking Words
Additionally
, in the pharmaceutical industry, animal experimentation remains a crucial stage in drug development, where numerous species are subjected to laboratory procedures for a range of purposes, as it is ethically unacceptable to perform Linking Words
such
tests on humans. Human society should explore alternative solutions, Linking Words
such
as computer simulations or artificial intelligence-based testing methods, in lieu of animal experimentation for drug development.
In summary, based on the aforementioned reasons, I firmly believe that products derived from animals are no longer necessary, as they can be effectively replaced by vegetarian food, synthetic clothing Linking Words
materials
, or computer simulations. These alternative products not only benefit the environment but Use synonyms
also
contribute to the improvement of human health and animal welfare.Linking Words
Submitted by jacob.nazaradeh on
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task achievement
Consider providing more diverse examples to illustrate the benefits of synthetic alternatives over animal-derived products.
task achievement
Ensure that each argument is fully expanded with supporting details, particularly in relation to the environmental and ethical considerations.
coherence cohesion
Even though the essay structure is strong, using more varied transitional phrases could add to the cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that frame your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are logically structured and well-supported throughout the essay, making the argument persuasive and easy to follow.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like synthetic materials and endangered species, effectively supports the main points.
task achievement
Your stance is consistently clear, providing a compelling argument for reduced reliance on animal products.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite