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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #lessons #money #school
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Some people
claimed
Wrong verb form
claim
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 that lessons on how to save and spend
money
Use synonyms
 should be added to
children
Use synonyms
's school curriculum. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it's necessary to promote the responsibility of youngsters with their prosperity and make them aware of the value of
money
Use synonyms
. One of the reasons why
children
Use synonyms
 should be taught how to use their
money
Use synonyms
 wisely is to help them understand the importance of
money
Use synonyms
 and develop their managing
money
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 skills. Teaching
children
Use synonyms
 on which occasions should they use
money
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 and how much
money
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 can they spend in a certain period of time could form a good habit in
children
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 and
this
Linking Words
 could result in their being able to guarantee their living when
children
Use synonyms
 enter their adulthoods.
For example
Linking Words
, economy experts have pointed out that people who have received education on
money
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 management are more likely to be wealthier than those who lack controlling cash issues ability. Another reason for the necessity of teaching kids to manage
money
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 in the school is that
children
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 should be talked into being responsible for what they
owned
Wrong verb form
own
show examples
. Since the kids don't earn
money
Use synonyms
 by themselves, they are not aware of how tough it is to earn
money
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they have a tendency not to respect the importance of
money
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 and spend
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 in an indiscriminate manner which could lead to their suffering from hardship when they grow up.
For instance
Linking Words
, when youngsters are old enough and start to gain
money
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 by themselves, their habit of wasting
money
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 in the past would make them end up without a penny since they don't know how to use their
money
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 properly to maintain their living. In conclusion, I believe that lessons on spending and saving
money
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 are indispensable in school curricula since they not only teach
children
Use synonyms
 how to control and be responsible with their assets but
also
Linking Words
 pay more respect to the value of
money
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.
Submitted by phammaikha7 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and concise introduction and conclusion to frame the essay effectively.
task achievement
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • savings and investment
  • financial responsibility
  • school curriculum
  • mathematics integration
  • social studies
  • debt prevention
  • credit score
  • wise financial decisions
  • parental responsibility
  • structured education
  • real-world experiences
  • internships
  • personal finance
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