A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Currently, many think that one's worth seems to be judged based on their material possessions and social status and the
values
they hold such
as honour, kindness and trust are no longer essential. In this
essay, I will talk about how I do not agree with this
idea.
Over the last
few decades, emphasis on wealth and status seemed to be the basis of how a person
is kind or is a responsible person
. Luxurious homes, new devices and having
a lavish lifestyle are perceived by others as successful and admired by plenty. With the rise of social media, more Unnecessary verb
apply
people
have been showcasing their wealth and showing everyone how happy and content they are with what they have. For example
, rising tiktokers have been posting videos of trips they managed to plan due to
their account success and how they are racking in money. These kinds of videos will help in instilling the idea that money equates to happiness.
On the other hand
, values
such
as honour, kindness and trust do not seem to have their importance lost. Many communities are instilling these old-fashioned values
onto people
. People
have high regard for having these old-fashioned values
such
as trustfulness and kindness celebrated through personal relationships. Many cultures still deem honour and integrity as essential qualities that define a person
.
Moreover
, in workplace settings, people
who are considered trustworthy and considerate tend to build strong interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships among others. For example
, one colleague of mine was voted as an employee of the month as he was able to execute core company values
that enabled him to do his work properly and efficiently.
To conclude
, social status and wealth are considered by many as an essential value to hold in this
day and age but old-fashioned values
are still needed to foster relationships with others and cultivate a sense of community. Therefore
, social success is highlighted, one's values
are what define a person
.Submitted by estillorericamae on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt well, providing a clear viewpoint on the importance of old-fashioned values versus material possessions and social status. However, it could delve deeper into arguments, especially about how and why people disregard old-fashioned values. More specific examples would further strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
While the essay does have a clear logical structure, some transitions between ideas can be smoother. For instance, it would be better to introduce the paragraph about old-fashioned values as a clear counterpoint to the first paragraph. Using transitional phrases would help in guiding the reader more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure every main point is fully developed. The essay discusses both sides but could benefit from more depth and detail in arguments, especially in contrasting the emphasis on material possessions with the enduring importance of old-fashioned values.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which reinforces the main viewpoint effectively.
task response
The use of a specific example, such as a colleague being voted employee of the month for demonstrating core company values, is effective and supports the argument well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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