Government should support sports and the arts at school to encourage children to take part in sports, more than supporting professional sports and artistic performances for general public. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #support #sports #arts #school #children #part #performances

Apart from academics, a student's involvement in extracurricular

activities

such

sports

and arts should

also

be encouraged by the government in comparison to professional

sports

and artistic performances because it

also

affects the global presence of a nation. I agree with the above statement and will

further

explain my thoughts in the below essay. Our leadership should fund the

sports

activities

and art performances because it is a way of improving the likelihood of the general public, but in what way these

activities

can be truly encouraged ? The only possible way is to encourage a lot of young

people

to participate in these

activities

, and it can be achieved by supporting these

activities

in schools and colleges.

For example

, parents usually notice unique talents in their children when participate in competitions in schools and colleges. A lot of

people

get recognized during that time and start their journey at a younger age.

Hence

, promoting these

activities

during school times would be ideal, and our government should be able to help them as well.

Secondly

, if a country does not possess enough talent or if it's not successful in the entertainment industry,

then

the global presence will get affected.

For example

, even though India is one of the developing countries, and still facing many economic problems, its presence in the

sports

and entertainment industry is strong, and many have won the Olympics and Oscars. It

also

represents a country's wealth in a talented society.

Hence

, it is wise for a constitution to encourage the younger generation to flourish in

sports

and arts careers. In conclusion,

although

investment in the

sports

and entertainment industry is vital for a nation, I agree that it should

also

invest wisely in different careers where

people

can develop their talent. To achieve

this

, our leadership should be able to encourage more

people

to participate in different areas of education

while

they are still in school.

Hence

, I completely agree with the above statement.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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