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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?

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Over the
last
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 decades, the number of
people
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 who reside in rural
areas
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 has decreased
due to
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 the migration of a large proportion of individuals to metropolises. I believe it has both drawbacks and benefits. Moving from the countryside to big
cities
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 has several benefits for immigrants. First of all, in urban
areas
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,
job
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 opportunities are more than in rural
areas
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. Many factories and building industries need manual labourers and pay a good amount of money, and
this
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 is a great chance for those who are coming from rural
areas
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, especially those who do not have academic education to get a
job
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 and have income.
For example
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, my brother who lived in our village could get a part-time
job
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 in a clothing store on the weekend.
Moreover
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, nearly all universities and colleges are located in big
cities
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, so
people
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 from rural
areas
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 can continue their education and have promising future prospects. In many rural communities, there is not even a secondary school,
as a result
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, children have to walk or ride for a long distance to go to a secondary school in the nearest town. It can be seen that moving to big
cities
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 is beneficial for youngsters.
However
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, there are some negative aspects of leaving villages and starting a new life in
cities
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. The first reason is that the majority of these
people
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 are young , and their parents continue living in the countryside. Many of these old
people
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 are suffering from chronic diseases and could not work effectively on their farms.
Therefore
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, they cannot run their local businesses and have to sell their homes and lands and join their children. Obviously, the transition would not be very smooth and easy for older adults and might impact their psychological health, causing depression or anxiety disorders.
For instance
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, my grandparents had problems with living in an apartment because they lived on a huge farm in our village.
In addition
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 to
this
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, most big
cities
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 are facing overgrowing population. The influx of more
people
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 would exaggerate the issues
such
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 as rental rates and traffic which make life harder for those who are dwelling in capital
cities
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. In conclusion, leaving rural
areas
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 and starting a new life in big
cities
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 has both positive and negative effects. Increasing
job
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 opportunities and possibilities of continuing education are the bright sides of
this
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 event,
while
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 elderlies’ difficulties in managing their rural tasks and adaptation to urbanization are the dark sides of
this
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 journey. I recommend that by building industrial factories in rural
areas
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, we can decrease immigration to urban
areas
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.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic opportunities
  • career prospects
  • quality of life
  • cultural exchange
  • economic stagnation
  • urban overcrowding
  • infrastructure
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • natural habitats
  • migration
  • superior education and healthcare services
  • diverse and vibrant cultural landscape
  • local services
  • urban slums
  • pressure on infrastructure
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