IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Studies show criminals don't have a high education level. Some people believe we should educate prisoners so they can have a job after they leave prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many studies demonstrate the negative correlation between the level of
education
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 and criminal activities.
Consequently
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, a considerable debate has sparked in society about prisoners'
education
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. Some individuals believe that holding training sessions for prisoners may positively affect their
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life
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lives
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 after
release
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, enabling them to find better jobs. I strongly believe that
education
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 not only provides the chance to learn new
skills
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 but
also
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 broadens their horizons. The following paragraphs will elaborate on my reasons. First and foremost,
education
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 is a significant tool for impacting people's knowledge and attitudes toward
life
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, society, and the values of humanity. Most offenders have not been exposed to appropriate training throughout their
lives
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 and are unfamiliar with the fundamental aspects of human
life
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.
For instance
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, they might not have had effective parents or families, and many did not attend school.
Therefore
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,
education
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 may open a new window in their
lives
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 and deter them from committing crimes.
Secondly
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, educating prisoners gives them an opportunity to learn new
skills
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 during their time in prison. Having a marketable skill is essential for a person who wants to live as a law-abiding civilian, enabling them to earn money legitimately and prevent
further
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 criminal activities after
release
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. Unfortunately, a criminal record often follows individuals for the rest of their
lives
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, making it difficult for them to find appropriate jobs.
As a result
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, acquiring
skills
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 can ensure job security for offenders after their
release
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. In conclusion, I completely agree with providing
education
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 in prisons to increase inmates' knowledge, change their attitudes toward
life
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, and teach them new
skills
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, thereby helping them seek better job positions after
release
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.
This
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 approach can positively impact their future
lives
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 and help prevent
further
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 criminal activities.

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task achievement
To enhance the clarity and thoroughness of the response, consider providing more specific examples or statistics to back up your claims. This can help illustrate how education specifically transforms individuals' lives and reduces recidivism.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion further, consider using transitional phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal shifts in focus and tie ideas together. This will help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay offers a well-rounded response to the task, thoroughly combining personal opinions with general observations about the impact of education on prisoners.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, with the conclusion effectively summarizing the main points. This clear structure contributes positively to coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well supported and logically developed, with a strong emphasis on education's role in transformative change.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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