IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that smart phones are destroying social interaction today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #interaction
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Irrefutably, there has been a rapid change in our societies since the evolution of mobile
phones
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, globally.
However
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, some individuals believe that smartphones are impacting socialisation among the masses. I fervently believe that owing to the presence of mobile
phones
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 people fail to appreciate real-life relationships
as well as
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 family
time
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. I shall discuss the same in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are rational factors, which are associated with why mobile
phones
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 lead towards the destructive evolution of our society.
Firstly
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, individuals are widening the social gap owing to the presence of mobile
phones
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.
For instance
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, people do not spend quality
time
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 with their loved ones and avoid socialising,
,
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apply
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instead
Add a comma
,instead
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 they keep themselves occupied using the internet on their mobile
phones
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. To be more specific, augmentation in the rate of divorces in Canada or other developed nations is
also
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due to
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 the dearth of
time
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 spent together by couples. Because they prefer using mobile
phones
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 over interacting with a person who is physically present.
Furthermore
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, adults these days are indulged in the usage of multiple applications like Instagram, youtube, Facebook, Netflix, etcetera;
therefore
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, they give priority to watching content online
instead
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 of spending
time
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 with family members.
For example
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, even during excursions, picnics, trips, and parties, people keep on uploading current pictures, videos and statuses on social media;
therefore
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,
this
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 acts as a barrier to maintaining relationships.
Moreover
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, mobile
phones
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 have widened the generation gap, as youngsters do not enjoy gaining knowledge from their parents and grandparents, because they can conveniently find all the information on their smartphones.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that the invention of mobile
phones
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 is an obtuse approach as it can destroy relationships between family members
as well as
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 friends
due to
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 lack of
time
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 and importance given to loved ones.
Also
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, the generation gap has widened, as exchanging thoughts and experiences between different age groups is no longer cherished by the modern generation.
Submitted by varindervarinder1996 on

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