Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

The current education system,

while

Linking Words

emphasizing the importance of academic literacy, seems to neglect the acquisition of practical

skills

Use synonyms

. It is my firm belief that it is a grave error to forego teaching life

skills

Use synonyms

like cooking or dressing in favour of traditional academic training.

This

Linking Words

essay elucidates the adverse effects of

such

Linking Words

an approach and promotes a more balanced educational structure.

To begin

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with, we currently witness a considerable proportion of youth grappling with unemployment, a predicament largely attributed to their lack of hands-on

skills

Use synonyms

desired by numerous top-tier companies. To illustrate, many

such

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corporations now prefer recruiting individuals who possess specialised abilities like culinary

skills

Use synonyms

, driving competence, and nursing proficiency. Those who have confined their education to theoretical learning find their resumes disregarded,

thus

Linking Words

prolonging their period of joblessness.

Furthermore

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, the existing system has driven a significant number of graduates to undertake jobs unrelated to their fields of study.

This

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circumstance allows employers to exploit their vulnerability, often leading to the graduates working long hours for unjustifiably low remuneration. In fact, many youths who have pursued non-skill-based courses find themselves dissatisfied with their work, grappling with low self-esteem, and in severe cases, battling depression. The primary education system, with its emphasis on academic knowledge over practical

skills

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, bears significant responsibility for

this

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unfortunate situation. In conclusion,

while

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fostering a scholarly mindset is not entirely without merit, discouraging the acquisition of practical, skill-based knowledge can have devastating consequences.

This

Linking Words

approach can lead to extended periods of unemployment for graduates and their acceptance of low wages, simply because they lack alternatives. As

such

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, I strongly advocate for a shift in our educational strategies, placing equal importance on both academic knowledge and practical

skills

Use synonyms

This

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balanced approach, I believe, will pave the way for a brighter, more secure future for our students.

mohamedyaqub90

Jul 11, 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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