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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.

The bar chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.
#bar #information #changes #house #prices #five #cities
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The chart compares the evolution of house
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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 in 5 cities in 2 periods with the average in 1989.
Overall
Linking Words
,
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
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 of residents have increased in all the towns, except Frankfurt, between the first period (1990 and 1995) and the second one (1996 and 2002).
While
Linking Words
 London and New York had a huge increase, the evolution in Madrid and Tokyo was not that big. Looking at the information in detail, during 1990 and 1995, New
york
Capitalize word
York
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, Tokyo and London were below their percentage of 1989.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in the second period between 1996 and
2002
Add a comma
2002,
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 those had higher prices and in all the towns the amount was higher than in 1990 and 1995.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
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 in all the cities except the German one, there was an increase. London has the biggest change with around 20% of
increase
Add an article
the increase
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. Following, there is New York with a positive change of 10%.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 in Madrid and
Tokyo
Add a comma
Tokyo,
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 the prices had only increased by 3%. So, in the United Kingdom
capital
Add a comma
capital,
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 the amount for a home was 5 times more than
the
Change preposition
in the
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spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
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 capital and the
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
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 one.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • real estate market
  • average house prices
  • economic factors
  • base year
  • significant increase/decrease
  • period of stability
  • peak and trough
  • real estate development
  • population growth
  • relative comparison
  • speculate
  • anomalies
  • timeframe
  • trend analysis
  • market dynamics
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