IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The best way to solve world’s environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree?

#world’s #cost #fuel
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Some people believe that increasing the cost of gasoline is the best way to address environmental
problems
. In
this
 essay,
however
, I will challenge
this
 school of thought. Of course, one might argue that increasing the prices of fuel could help solve environmental issues.
This
 is predicated on the assumption that
such
 a measure would force some people, especially money-conscious ones, to give up their private vehicles for public transport.
This
,
according to
this
 theory, ultimately results in less fuel being consumed and lower levels of toxic gases being released into the air.
However
,
this
 line of reasoning is not sound because the amount of greenhouse gases emitted by personal vehicles is negligible, compared to that of industrial plants or even cow farts.
This
 very fact renders the effects of increasing the price of petrol on the environment insignificant. To add
further
 credence to my assertion, I note the root cause of most serious environmental issues: our
energy
-hungry lifestyles.
For example
, the accelerated depletion of natural resources that are used to produce electricity and power machines can be attributed to the insatiable thirst for
energy
 of mankind. By the very same token, global warming and pollution, arguably the two most severe environmental
problems
, are the dreadful knock-on effects stemming from humans excessively consuming
energy
.
Thus
, the key to solving the world's environmental
problems
 is to find alternative sources of
energy
.
This
 could be done by exploiting solar, wind and tidal power, all of which are unlimited and clean sources of
energy
 that are largely underdeveloped. In conclusion, it is a mistake to assume that increasing the price of fuel is the best way to alleviate
problems
 posed to the environment because the key to solving these issues is to develop renewable
energy
.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the specific examples that illustrate the environmental impact of personal vehicles versus industrial plants. Adding more concrete data or studies will help to back up your points and make your argument even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the essay is well-organized, using more transitional phrases can enhance the flow. For instance, phrases like "Additionally" or "Moreover" can be effective.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and strong introduction and conclusion which nicely frame the argument.
task achievement
The use of persuasive language and well-structured arguments make the essay compelling and clear.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disproportionately affect
  • renewable sources
  • solar energy
  • equity in environmental policies
  • exacerbating social inequalities
  • incentivizing
  • subsidies
  • strict regulations
  • industrial emissions
  • sustainable local production
  • carbon footprints
  • punitive measures
  • sustainability efforts
  • robust and lasting changes
What to do next:
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