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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, the average lifespan of
people
Use synonyms
 increased in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 compared to the past. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe it is an
advantage
Use synonyms
 because they can increase the wisdom
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. I believe
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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 outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 because it has a negative impact on
countries
Use synonyms
' economies.
People
Use synonyms
 who think
this
Linking Words
 situation is an
advantage
Use synonyms
 for
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 often argue that aged
people
Use synonyms
 can pass their wisdom to young individuals. These
people
Use synonyms
 are full of knowledge because they are living for a long time which elderly population can use
this
Linking Words
 information to improve the quality of life
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 world is quite different from the period they spent most of their life, still they can
useful
Add a missing verb
be useful
show examples
 for fixing the
problems
Use synonyms
 inside of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, retired individuals can spend their leisure time at schools to teach children valuable manners and ethics. Despite the understandable reason why
people
Use synonyms
 consider ageing as an
advantage
Use synonyms
, I believe it creates plenty of
problems
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
economies
Correct article usage
the economies
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 of
countries
Use synonyms
. One of these
problems
Use synonyms
 is authorities should pay huge amounts of pensions to retired old
people
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, there are great numbers of aged individuals with various kinds of illnesses in
society
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the pension they receive is not enough for medication.
However
Linking Words
, governments should implement policies for
treatment
Correct article usage
the treatment
show examples
 of these
people
Use synonyms
 and they have to spend a great deal of cash.
For example
Linking Words
, in many
countries
Use synonyms
, governments pay extra money for aged
people
Use synonyms
 with disabilities and mental
problems
Use synonyms
. The increasing number of aged
people
Use synonyms
 with these
problems
Use synonyms
 causes a fall in the amount of funds in
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there is
Use synonyms
advantage
Add an article
the advantage
an advantage
show examples
 of having more old
people
Use synonyms
 in
society
Use synonyms
, the economic
problems
Use synonyms
 it can cause to governments
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more serious.
This
Linking Words
 is the reason why the advantages of
ageing
Correct article usage
an ageing
show examples
 population do not outweigh its disadvantages.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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