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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society
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In recent years, the average lifespan of
people
Use synonyms
 increased in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
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 compared to the past. Some
people
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 believe it is an
advantage
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 because they can increase the wisdom
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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. I believe
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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 outweigh
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 because it has a negative impact on
countries
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' economies.
People
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 who think
this
Linking Words
 situation is an
advantage
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 for
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 often argue that aged
people
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 can pass their wisdom to young individuals. These
people
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 are full of knowledge because they are living for a long time which elderly population can use
this
Linking Words
 information to improve the quality of life
among
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in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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.
Although
Linking Words
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 world is quite different from the period they spent most of their life, still they can
useful
Add a missing verb
be useful
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 for fixing the
problems
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 inside of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
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.
For example
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, retired individuals can spend their leisure time at schools to teach children valuable manners and ethics. Despite the understandable reason why
people
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 consider ageing as an
advantage
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, I believe it creates plenty of
problems
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to
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for
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economies
Correct article usage
the economies
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 of
countries
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. One of these
problems
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 is authorities should pay huge amounts of pensions to retired old
people
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.
Also
Linking Words
, there are great numbers of aged individuals with various kinds of illnesses in
society
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that
Correct word choice
and
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 the pension they receive is not enough for medication.
However
Linking Words
, governments should implement policies for
treatment
Correct article usage
the treatment
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 of these
people
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 and they have to spend a great deal of cash.
For example
Linking Words
, in many
countries
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, governments pay extra money for aged
people
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 with disabilities and mental
problems
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. The increasing number of aged
people
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 with these
problems
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 causes a fall in the amount of funds in
budget
Add an article
the budget
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there is
Use synonyms
advantage
Add an article
the advantage
an advantage
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 of having more old
people
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 in
society
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, the economic
problems
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 it can cause to governments
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more serious.
This
Linking Words
 is the reason why the advantages of
ageing
Correct article usage
an ageing
show examples
 population do not outweigh its disadvantages.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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