IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints
Nowadays, more and more
people
 are concerned that the Internet poses a threat to our close relationships, leading to isolation. Diametrically opposed to
this
, some
people
 state that it will bridge better interaction between
people
 who have common interests. In my opinion, I believe that the Internet advance will improve the connection and communication for
people
 with similar hobbies,
although
 it indeed leads to isolation. On the one hand, some
people
 argue that the increasing number of young generation spend a lot of time on computers or smartphones
instead
 of face-to-face communication with their families or
friends
 in real life. Because the Internet provides more opportunities,
such
 as social media platforms, for young
people
 to make new
friends
.
For example
,
people
 who suffer from bad moods are more likely to share with their online
friends
,
instead
 of talking with their parents.
This
 is because they thought
friends
 could get a better understanding of their attitudes and viewpoints.
On the other hand
, in today's world, the usage of computers, laptops or smartphones play a crucial role in our daily life. It is no doubt that big data helps us to get in touch with
people
 who have similar value views on any individual social platform. They believe that technology has bridged geographical barriers, allowing
people
 worldwide to connect instantly.
For instance
, some international students can easily keep in touch with their parents using Facetime regardless of distance. It helps them to strengthen their relationship.
By contrast
, in the age without smartphones, it is difficult for them to maintain
this
 feeling and relationship. In conclusion, in some cases, technology may be brought challenge for our connection,
However
, it
also
 promotes better communication than before.
Submitted by guojingchang0426 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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