IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some regions of the globe have always struggled with access to clean
water
Use synonyms
. Yet,
this
Linking Words
 issue has now become universal
due to
Linking Words
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 need for it in all parts of the world. Lawn
irrigation
Use synonyms
 is likely a major contributing factor to
this
Linking Words
 rise in demand. To address
this
Linking Words
 issue, municipalities can introduce limits to the volume of
water
Use synonyms
 used for gardening purposes. Today, unlike any other time in history, people are consuming an exorbitant amount of
water
Use synonyms
 to maintain their lawns. Historically,
irrigation
Use synonyms
 has always been used for agriculture,
whereas
Linking Words
 in modern times, people are choosing to use it for aesthetic purposes too. And, because a majority of houses in the UK have lawns or yards, the
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 used to maintain these cumulates to a
collosal
Correct your spelling
colossal
 amount.
For instance
Linking Words
, it was found that the average household in the UK uses more
water
Use synonyms
 for
irrigation
Use synonyms
 than any other purpose. In fact,
this
Linking Words
 was the primary reason behind the introduction of the hose pipe ban by the English Government in an effort to reduce
this
Linking Words
 usage. A feasible solution can be to limit the volume of
water
Use synonyms
 used for gardening. By enacting these limits, governments can significantly reduce the amount of
water
Use synonyms
 used for purposes not directly linked to health or sanitation.
Also
Linking Words
,
in addition
Linking Words
 to saving resources, governments will be able to free up more of their constituents' time for more productive pursuits.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2006, one man in Brighton decided to pursue his passion for pottery after the aforementioned hose pipe ban and became the most acclaimed potter in the United Kingdom.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of fresh
water
Use synonyms
 has always been a concerning topic; now more than ever.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 problem can, undoubtedly, be addressed to an extent by limiting domestic
irrigation
Use synonyms
, freeing up resources for governments and time for individuals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
While the essay provides a complete response to the question, offering specific examples and a feasible solution, it could benefit from addressing more diverse causes and measures related to the global demand for fresh water. Including a broader range of factors and solutions would give a more comprehensive view.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, strengthening the connections between ideas and paragraphs can enhance the overall flow. For example, adding transitional phrases would improve coherence and make the essay more fluid.
task response
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as the hose pipe ban and the anecdote about the potter, which effectively support the main points and illustrate the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion and a conclusion that summarizes the main points, reinforcing the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: