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Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that it is unbreable to live in big cities. what kinds of problems they face, what do you suggest to solve the problems?

#people #unbreable #cities #kinds #face
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A lot of folks unlike large towns is a unavoidable phenomenon in almost countries in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary life. Transportation
spends
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 and expensive living costs question are the most prevailing ones
drive
Correct pronoun usage
that drive
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 a considerable number of citizens unbearable. With the development of society, people
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 in big cities are undoubtedly
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 with traffic funds, these make them feel huge pressure. Technology becoming increasingly advanced, and variety
forms
Change preposition
of forms
show examples
 of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
 by people. And
also
Linking Words
 if you live in a strong city, many places require particular travel models to reach.
Therefore
Linking Words
, everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 expends
moneys
Change the wording
money
amounts of money
sums of money
show examples
 on traffic. These conditions are unacceptable to everybody. Another problem is the cost of living. The
add in
Add a hyphen
add-in
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 population has made land more valuable.
This
Linking Words
 lead to
Add an article
the less
show examples
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 owned field for
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
. Thereby, house prices will rise because rare things are more valuable. To solve these above troubles, some plausible solutions could be taken thanks to the government’s help.
Firstly
Linking Words
, unified management of traffic fees and
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to adjust them to a generally accepted range. And
also
Linking Words
, the government can propose for
ride
Add an article
a ride
the ride
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 on a bicycle when
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the state can provide some housing welfare, and decrease resident’s economic pressure.
For instance
Linking Words
, it can offer free rooms for families with many children. At the same time, the administration can set up temporary habitation for the employed. In conclusion, I would contend that folks are being in difficulties with transportation and living spends, which makes them gradually drop
satisfaction
Correct pronoun usage
their satisfaction
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
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 the life environment.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, some measures are able to ease these problems.
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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